Day 32

What an interesting little day.
This morning, I went into work at SC and while I was at work I got a phone call from Jennifer, she is such a sweetheart. She was in shock to read my message and wouldn't stop apologizing about everything that happened. She asked me to tell her what happened, apparently the same thing happened with another volunteer a few days back. The same person that told me that they didn't need me and said there was too many volunteers, did the very same thing to another volunteer and because of that situation Jennifer was upset and called a staff meeting. She explained to me that no volunteer should ever be sent home and that there can never be too many volunteers, just as I figured. She told me that she is working on a few new project, such as events and activities and possibly a tour guide bus, maybe even a trip to Disneyland and such for the families. She said, she would love for me to be a part of it. She also expressed to me that she sees how passionate I am about making a difference, that she is grateful for having me, and that she would pay me back the $50 for the decoration if I give her the receipt, which I dont want back, it was all part of the good deed. She said she will talk to this "person" about it, and that she already forwarded my email to another staff member and that she also apologies. I then agreed to come back and set a schedule to come Thursday, and Tuesday and Wednesday next week. =) So in the end it all worked out! YAY!

Well a few days ago, I went over to one of my best friend Shelly's house, to write a letter to the Israel Federation about a grant and about this project. Of course like always, we got caught up talking about a million other things and so right before we went to sleep, I recorded an audio of her on how I should write it because she is pretty smart cookie and great when it comes to essays. Today I uploaded it onto my computer so that I can begin writing it and as I'm listening and typing, I come across a sentence that she said that didn't make any sense to me, something like "While trying to execute my plan" or something like that. So I thought to myself wait what?!?!? execute? like killing people? I kept replaying it and was so confused, so I typed it into Google, which btw Google is like my spell-check/dictionary lol, so for some odd reason I guess I clicked images! Which was the worstttt idea EVER! I'm honestly the worsttttttttt person when it comes to things like that. I cant handle scary movies, cant handle hearing stories about death or anything that just has to do with death, it freaks me out but I'll explain that another day, but I think it really comes down to me being such a compassionate person and an artist, I can't help but to store these horrid images in my head FOREVER! But yet at the same time, we are humans, and I do have this curious side, maybe because it freaks me out so much. So then I start going through some of the most horrifying images ever!!! and thannn I see an image taken somewhere in South Africa, of a man burning another man to death (you should see my face right now), this poor man is tided down and has a tire around his neck that is on fire, this is called necklacing. OH MY &*$*(&@$*&(@ G*D!!!!!!!! I was seriously mortified!!! I was stunned and still am that such horrid, beyond animalistic, behavior is going on in this world! WTF!?!? Howwww sickkk do you have to be to do such a thing! Sometimes I cant fathom some of the things that go on in this world. I swear to you, after seeing that image, I sat starring into my Microsoft Word document with not a single thing to type. I literally had to go to youtube and look at some happy music videos to get over what I had saw, it didn't help though, I even had a hard time sleeping thinking about it. I have a theory, where I believe that each and every person on this Planet has good to them, some more, some less, but I do strongly preach that and I can't in my right mind figure out how another human being can perform such an act. I guess I'm trying to understand what kind of trauma would cause someone to such a thing, I don't understand....
Do yourself a favor, don't look up that word, ever, in your life.
Well thank G*d for dictionary.com. I guess I already knew that execute also means to accomplish something but I don't why I didn't relate to that meaning when I heard it. I did actually finish the letter after a few hours.

Later on the night I met 3 Military man, who just got back to the US after being gone for 6 month. They were actually in the Air Force, I found out later, which I found interesting since I used to date someone for 3 years that was a Air Force Veteran. One of them showed me a huge scar on his upper left shoulder. He told me that when he was in Afghanistan on duty, that he was riding in a Jeep, where out of no where, the Jeep ran over a bomb and it exploded! Everyone in the Jeep died but him! He told me that the in Afghanistan they have these underground sand hiding spots and they just jumped out of them at you. The moment one of the Afghanistan saw that he was alive, he tried to stab him right in the heart and he blocked it and then his other to friends that I also met, killed him. They were so torn and said that they didn't sign up to kill people and that it was the worst feeling you can ever imagine. Naively I said, "well ya, but that's your job", they all got extremely angry and said there that job is to protect the USA and NOT to KILL ANYONE. I apologized for offending them, that wasn't my intentions. We discussed politics, I was telling them that I was going to Israel on the volunteer program, we talked about the Israeli Army, ect.
One of them freaked me out saying that Iran today said on the news that they are planning to blow up Israel. I really started freaking out thinking about my family that lives there now and my future life there. We left Israel when I was a kid during the Gulf War, because my father was recruited back to the Army. Meanwhile my mom was a 25 year old, sitting in a padded room in our house, with my brother age 4 at the time and me at the age of 7, wearing gas masks, praying to live. There was actually a bomb that exploded a mile away from our home. Til this day, I still remember that disgusting feeling of it on my face and the way it smelled. I know this program will be safe but I can't help in the back of my head to think about it.
My brother and I, in Israel during the Gulf War.

They kept repeating how impressed they were that I had such global and life knowledge at such a young age. They were really good men. I thanked them for being Heroes. My heart really went out to them, all 3 of them told me how miserable they are, that none of them have wives or children because they have been in the Military for over 20 years and no women is willing to live that lifestyle. They really believe that being a soldier is all that they are good at and deserve, it was really sad. I wish they can see that life is beautiful and that there is so much more to the world and themselves then that. I'm so free spirited and live like a Gypsy or a Hippie that I can never understand that world. I mean these poor guys are miserable and they think that there is no way out. I wish I can help turn peoples black into a Rainbow like them, because that's how I view life and I want to inspire more people to see it in my eyes.
My heart and prayers go out to them and all the soldiers all around the world.

“You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.”